Every bride and groom inevitably faces the question: are we doing a first look or an aisle reveal?

When I was planning my wedding, the photos were hands down the most important thing to me. Even before becoming a photographer, I understood the importance of having the best light available. I wanted to have hundreds and hundreds of photos of my man, my family, and my friends. I wanted to look back on this day and feel the sun on my skin. Knowing that we were having an outdoor wedding and how much time we would need, I asked James if he would mind doing a first look.

It was slowly becoming a trend right around the time we graduated from college. In typical man fashion, he didn’t know what a first look actually meant. Do they pay attention to anything during the planning process? (No shade to any of the amazing, involved grooms I’ve had the pleasure of working with!) I explained to him that we would see each other before the ceremony in a private reveal and photo session. He said that he was fine with that. So I planned our timeline based on that.

I think you know what happened on our wedding day. Things are rolling along as planned. My hair is done, my make-up perfect, and the dress is on. My phone rings. It’s James. He says, “They’re telling me that I’m about to see you right now?” I said, “Yes, for the first look remember?”

James did not remember. He absolutely did not want to see me until I walked down the aisle. Literally all I could do was laugh. We threw out the timeline. James got the aisle reveal that he wanted. We were a little late to our reception and I got amazing photos that I wanted.

Aisle Reveal: What to Consider

Many wedding professionals recommend a first look—and for good reason. First looks often create a private, emotional moment between the couple and allow more time for portraits earlier in the day. They can also help ease nerves before the ceremony. However, choosing not to do a first look is just as valid. If you’ve always imagined seeing each other for the first time while walking down the aisle, that moment can be incredibly meaningful. Your wedding day should reflect your vision, and a great photographer will create beautiful images regardless of the timeline, lighting, or whether a first look takes place.

If you choose to skip a first look, here are a few important factors to consider.

1. Plan your ceremony time carefully.

Without a first look, couple portraits take place after the ceremony. Because of this, it’s important to schedule your ceremony early enough to take advantage of natural light. A good rule of thumb is to begin your ceremony about two hours before sunset. This typically allows about ninety minutes afterward for family photos, wedding party portraits, and couple portraits while there is still plenty of daylight.

2. Prioritize your engagement session.

An engagement session is incredibly helpful in preparing for the wedding day. It allows you to become comfortable in front of the camera and familiar with your photographer’s approach. Many photographers use a consistent posing flow, so practicing together during your engagement session helps everything move more smoothly and efficiently on the wedding day when time is a little more crunched.

3. Communicate with your family and wedding party.

After the ceremony, time moves quickly. Let your family members and wedding party know in advance where they need to be and when photos will begin. When everyone understands the plan, portraits can move along efficiently and allow you to spend more time enjoying your celebration.

4. Consider extending cocktail hour.

Some couples choose to add extra time to their cocktail hour when they opt out of a first look. This gives the photographer additional time to complete portraits without rushing. It can be a great way to keep the timeline relaxed while still capturing everything you want.

5. Keep expectations realistic.

Some couples skip a first look because they hope for a big emotional reaction when they see each other at the ceremony. While those moments can be beautiful, every person expresses emotion differently. Some grooms tear up, while others smile, laugh, or simply take in the moment quietly. None of those reactions reflect the depth of their feelings any less. The most meaningful moments happen when couples stay true to themselves and allow the day to unfold naturally.

First Look: A Sales Pitch

There are also many benefits to choosing a first look, and for many couples it can make the wedding day timeline smoother and more relaxed.

1. You’ll have significantly more time for couple portraits.

Without a first look, your portraits together happen after the ceremony. During that time we typically need to photograph family formals and wedding party portraits as well, which usually leaves about 20 minutes for bride and groom photos. When couples choose to do a first look, we can photograph many of those portraits beforehand. This typically allows around 45 minutes dedicated just to couple portraits—more than double the time—which results in a greater variety of images and a more relaxed experience in front of the camera.

2. It creates a private, meaningful moment together.

Some couples worry that seeing each other before the ceremony will make the aisle moment less special, but that is rarely the case. Many grooms still have strong emotional reactions when their partner walks down the aisle, even after a first look. What the first look often provides is a quiet moment away from the crowd where you can fully take in the significance of the day together. While your photographer captures the moment from a distance, couples often choose to read private vows, pray together, or simply enjoy a few calm minutes before the celebration begins.

It can also be a chance to incorporate something fun or personal that reflects your personalities. Like this perfect dog dressed as a bride “prank”!

3. It helps create a more flexible, relaxed timeline.

When a couple skips the first look, many essential photos must be completed within the hour between the ceremony and reception. While this is absolutely doable with good planning, a first look allows more flexibility throughout the day, especially if it’s raining! Portraits can be spread out, buffer time can be built into the schedule, and the overall pace often feels less rushed.

4. You’ll have more freedom during cocktail hour. (Or more time alone!)

With a first look, many of your major portraits—such as wedding party photos and some family formals—are completed before the ceremony. This often means that after the ceremony you may only need a few remaining family photos and perhaps a quick set of golden hour portraits. Couples then have the option to join their guests during cocktail hour or take a few quiet minutes together before the reception begins. Even if you completed portraits earlier, stepping away for a short golden hour session is always worthwhile. Those portraits often become favorites, especially since you’ll now be wearing your wedding bands.

Ultimately, the most important decision is the one that feels right for you as a couple. It’s helpful to talk through the pros and cons, consider your timeline, and think about what kind of experience you want on your wedding day. First looks do offer several logistical advantages and can create more time and flexibility for portraits, but they are not the right choice for every couple.

What matters most is staying true to your vision. Whether you choose a private first look or the traditional moment of seeing each other at the aisle, your wedding day should reflect what is most meaningful to you. Beautiful photographs will follow either way—the goal is simply to capture your day as it naturally unfolds. I’m ready to chat with you if you’re ready to chat with me!